MISCELLANEOUS STORIES        HOME

Catfight Time Machine

By Wolfboy

‘So it’s a time machine?’ the first of the rich businessmen in the room asked the scientist stood by the strange looking set of computers and screens in the room.

‘Well yes...but also no’ the scientist replied. She was already wondering why she’d thought that she could explain this to those gathered in the room. It wasn’t really a time machine after all, although in a lot of ways it might as well have been.

‘Which is it? Yes or no?’ another of the businessmen asked, his brusque tone conveying an impatience.

‘Well, no, it’s not a time machine’ the scientist confirmed. ‘But…’

‘But nothing Doctor Shaw….we asked you to build a time machine for our tournament. This isn’t it, we’re not going to buy it!’ the third businessman in the room declared. And with that, the three got up from their seats and without saying another word, they left the room. Doctor Shaw was downcast….if only they’d have let her explain, then they’d have had their tournament. Now she was left without a buyer, her life’s work there in front of her in the form of the unusual looking set of computers with seemingly no prospect of getting to improve the technology she’d developed without the final investment of the group who had commissioned her for this work. They hadn’t even let her demonstrate what it did.

‘It works then?’ a voice from the doorway asked, a well dressed, almost bookish looking woman wearing a sharply cut black business suit and glasses, her black hair up tidily in a bun on the top of her head.

‘It does’ Doctor Shaw confirmed. ‘It works perfectly. I told them all along that time travel wasn’t really a possibility, but a time snatch. That’s a thing that can be delivered, using time vortices…’ she explained, realising that it was fruitless to try and explain this to someone who didn’t really understand the principle.

‘So it captures the soul of the target and recreates it at a point in time?’ the woman asked, as she made her way into the room, allowing the door to swing closed behind her.

‘More or less, soul, psyche, mind. Whatever you want to call it. It can go to a point in time, capture the target and recreate them in the virtual arena we’ve built into the system’ Doctor Shaw explained, the smile returning to her face simply at talking to someone who understood the principle. ‘How do you…’

‘Know how it works?’ the woman finished the question for her. ‘I don’t, not really. Only you know that. But it’s the way I always thought it would be possible, more or less anyway’ she smiled. ‘I’m Belinda Gold by the way’ she said, offering her hand to Doctor Shaw.

‘Pleased to meet you Belinda’ Doctor Shaw replied. ‘I’m Sophie...Shaw’ she said, feeling a little apprehensive suddenly. She recognised the name and Belinda was one of the great philanthropists of the sciences. A woman who clearly had an unusual grasp on how things should work. ‘But now, without the investment of those men, I can’t really finish this. Not properly’ she said, indicating the computer equipment.

‘Do you want me to go and drag them back in here, and tell them to listen?’ Belinda smiled. ‘Or would you rather deal with someone who actually has an idea what you’re trying to do?’ she asked the blonde scientist. ‘Because this works. If you say it does Sophie, I believe you. I know you’re the pre-eminent mind on this subject in the scientific community. And you can do a time snatch in any era?’ she asked.

‘Pretty much’ Sophie confirmed. ‘It’s more reliable in recent times. And by recent I mean pretty much any time in the last 2,000 years.’ she smiled. ‘Beyond that, it gets more hit and miss, but effectively it just doesn’t connect with the target when it misses, so it doesn’t really do any harm.’

‘It’s impressive’ Belinda replied, ‘very impressive. You know I’d fund the rest of it right now if you would agree to that? I think I know what you were designing it for Sophie, and I like the idea, with my own tweak to it…’ she said.

‘They wanted to bring the greatest fighters of all time together for a tournament’ Sophie explained, confirming what Belinda had already known. She was a woman who did her research, and she knew the businessmen that had been in this room before her well enough to know what their aim was. They were looking for a TV show that would have, they were sure, been a great hit while finding out who the greatest was. ‘What tweak would you want it to make?’ she asked Belinda. She had already decided she was going to go with this woman’s offer to help her produce the final version of the system.

‘Nothing very different at all really’ Belinda smiled. ‘I want it to bring great fighters together as well, for a tournament of sorts I suppose. But I want it to be great catfighters. Women who fight in the most feminine of styles’ she explained.

‘Oh, now that’s exciting!’ Sophie smiled, liking the idea. ‘And of course it will work for that. The time snatch technology works on anyone. And in fact, there’s a little thing about it that might even extend your pool of potential fighters. The time snatch is able to influence the mind of a fighter; not significantly so, but it was done so that the different styles of fighter would be able to follow a common set of rules. But it will also make them want to fight, so for example, an actress who had a great film catfight might not really be a fighter, but the time snatch would contribute to making her less inhibited about fighting in the virtual arena’ she explained.

‘So it really has a pretty unlimited potential’ Belinda smiled. ‘I’m in Sophie, if you can demonstrate how it works for me, I’ll give you the funding you need to finish this amazing machine.’

‘Oh wow! That’s so kind of you Belinda. And of course I can give you a demonstration. Who would you like me to time snatch to fight, and how do you want them to fight?’ she asked.

‘Well, the rules should be simple for a demonstration. A two minute catfight, slapping, mauling, wrestling, win by making the other give up. I get that a result is unlikely in two minutes. That doesn’t matter. I want to see how it works…..first hand’ Belinda explained.

‘You mean…..’ Sophie started.

‘That I want you to time snatch me for it’ Belinda confirmed. ‘Use it on me, let me fight someone for a couple of minutes’ Belinda said, ‘so tell me what do I need to know?’

Sophie tapped away on one of the keyboards for a moment just starting to calibrate the machine so that it would be ready to run the required time snatch. ‘What do you need to know? Well you, as in you in the room here, won’t feel anything happen, you’ll be absent so to speak, but literally for a split second before it returns you to the room. Frozen if you like. You in the time snatch will have all of your current abilities, and it will feel real to you, we think, in your mind when the time snatch finishes; you’ll have a memory of the fight. You might even feel some of the aches and pains that are associated with it. When you return here, you’ll feel like you didn’t go anywhere, and then the memories and so on will kick in over the next couple of minutes. To be honest, I’ve never been able to speak to anyone that we’ve time snatched before’ Sophie explained to Belinda. ‘We’ve only ever time snatched people from the past before now.’

‘So I’m your guinea pig?’ Belinda smiled.

‘Not exactly’ Sophie said in reply. ‘We’ve done this about 50 times, but just not with someone in our time before. We know it works because we can see the fights through the machine. We’re sure it does no harm, because history indicates those we time snatched had no side effects from it at all. But I’m not going to watch you fight. Maybe you can tell me about it when the memories start?’ Sophie asked.

‘Why not?’ Belinda agreed. ‘I’ll tell you everything I can remember about when I get back! Now is there anything else that I need to know?’ she asked.

‘Both of you will instinctively know what you’re there to do as soon as you’re time snatched. It’ll be almost as if someone has explained the rules to you. And the other thing is that you’ll appear in the time snatch dressed exactly as you are in this room right now. When we time snatch a fighter we usually try to get them in their fighting attire or something fairly suitable at least. So you need to be dressed as you’d want to be. And there’s one thing that I need to know’ Sophie went on, ‘who do you want to fight, who should I time snatch for you?’

Belinda didn’t answer that straight away, first walking over to the door of the room slowly, her heels clicking on the hard floor. She took an umbrella from the stand by the door and hooked it through the door handles on the inside of the room, effectively locking the room from the inside. Then she detoured along the line of windows that looked out on to the street, and pulled the blinds closed as Dr Shaw raised an eyebrow. ‘Well, you said I need to wear what I want to fight in’ Belinda smiled, as she told the blonde scientist ‘and that sure as hell isn’t a business suit!’

‘Oh!’ Sophie laughed. ‘Yes...I see what you mean’ she said as Belinda started to unbutton her jacket.

‘And who should I fight? It’s going to be short isn’t it? Get me Raquel Welch from her Kansas City Bomber era’ Belinda said as she folded her jacket on the back of a chair and started on the buttons of her blouse. Then she noted Dr Shaw looking a little bit blank and realised that the young scientist had no idea about the film at all. ‘1972 Sophie, sorry, I forget you’re so young!’ Belinda smiled at the blonde, who looked like a lightbulb had been switched on in her head with that information.

‘Leave your shoes on’ she told Belinda who now in turn looked a bit puzzled. ‘We’ve tracked her a number of times when we’ve been calibrating the machine, and around that era she’s always either in heels or go-go boots when we see her it seems like. We don’t want you at a disadvantage now do we Belinda!’ she smiled.

‘Oh, I see’ Belinda said, as she took her blouse off and hung it over the jacket. Finally she unbuttoned her skirt, eased the zipper down at the back and shimmied it down her hips until it pooled at her feet and she bent down to pick it up, so that she could also drape that over the back of the chair. ‘This will have to do’ she said as she stood in front of Sophie in her black satin bra, and a pair of shimmering opaque black tights as well as her black high heels. She noted that just at the moment Sophie seemed to be a little uncomfortable looking directly at her. ‘Sophie….dear. It’s OK to look at me, I won’t be offended if you do’ Belinda pointed out and Sophie cast a glance in her direction, but only briefly, evidently feeling a little uncomfortable being in the same room as a partly undressed woman, especially one who it seemed would become a benefactor for her project perhaps.

‘So I think we’re pretty well set’ Sophie told Belinda. ‘The time snatch is tracking you in this room, and it’s tracking Ms Welch as well in 1972’ she said, slipping on a pair of virtual reality goggles for a moment to check something. ‘I can tell you she’s wearing….’ Sophie began, only to be cut off by Belinda.

‘Don’t tell me. Let it be a surprise’ Belinda told the scientist who nodded awkwardly in the wrong direction before she took off the virtual reality goggles and reoriented herself with where Belinda actually was in the room.

‘OK’ Sophie smiled. ‘Then we’re all set’ she said, ‘just tell me when and I’ll hit the button’ she told Belinda, still not quite meeting her eye.

‘I’m ready’ Belinda confirmed, wondering exactly what would happen when the Time Snatch activated. She saw Sophie’s finger reaching for a large green button on the time snatch machine. Saw her press it and then a split second later when she felt nothing, she said ‘you can press it now Sophie, I’m ready!’

Now the blonde laughed a little, and then told Belinda ‘well sure...I could send you again, but it’s already happened Belinda. Give it a couple of moments and the memory of the fight will be there for you, probably at about the same time as the machine records it. I’m going to record you telling me all about it when that memory comes into your mind, and then I can compare it to what the machine shows me’ Sophie told her.

‘Wait….you mean I’ve time travelled and I didn’t feel a thing?’ Belinda asked her.

‘As good as, yes. And it’s a great relief to me that it was like that for you. That’s what I’ve been telling everyone. Based on the evidence we had, it never seemed to have any adverse impact on anyone but, well, like you said, you’re my guinea pig’ she smiled.

‘I guess I am, but I don’t feel anything just yet. You’re sure it worked?’ she asked Sophie, who nodded. She was waiting patiently, knowing that the time snatch memory would be there in Belinda’s mind soon, really soon. The expression was everything that she thought it would be on Belinda’s face, suddenly one of brief confusion followed by extreme joy on her face. ‘Oh….my….God! It works Sophie, trust me, it works!’ Belinda Gold suddenly gushed. For the first time in a long time, she found herself to be thoroughly blown away by what she had seen. What she had felt too, she realised as her hand touched her cheek that suddenly felt like it stung. Just as if it had been slapped a few times with a degree of force. And then she looked down and saw that her tights were laddered as well. ‘Is it so realistic to do this?’ she asked Sophie, astounded for the moment as she pointed to the ladder on her right leg.

Sophie laughed, and told her ‘unfortunately not. I think you were in a rush when you were taking your skirt off Belinda...it caught on the zipper and laddered it!’

‘Oh, right! For a moment I thought it was even more realistic than you thought!’ Belinda smiled.

‘Time Snatch, not time machine remember’ Sophie smiled. ‘It sends something of you, but not physically. I told them time machines were impossible’ she shrugged as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

Belinda took up a seat now, not bothering to put her neatly folded clothes on just yet, and she looked at Sophie and told her ‘I’m ready to tell you all about it now Sophie. I can remember the whole thing. It was brief but it was fantastic’ she confirmed.

‘Very good’ Sophie said, as Belinda noted now the blonde seemed to be untroubled while looking at her. Strange she thought as Sophie got a digital recording device out of the pocket of her white scientists coat, then she took up a seat next to Belinda at the table, set the recording device between the two of them on the table, and pressed the recording button. ‘It’s 11:34 am here in Atlantic City, New Jersey on the 5^th of April 2024, and I have Belinda Gold with me, Sophie Shaw. We’re here to document the time snatch which took place a moment ago when Belinda was time snatched to fight against Raquel Welch in a very short two minute fight. Belinda, when you’re ready, please could you tell us everything that you can recall?’ she asked the woman sat next to her.

‘I’d be delighted to’ Belinda smiled. ‘I think we should cover the technicalities first. The time snatch was as good as instant. I wasn’t even aware that I’d been absent from the room, when in fact it was all over. It was painless as a process. Although at the time, I wasn’t aware that it had happened at all, it’s now no more than five minutes after the event and I have a vivid memory of what happened, very similar to if it had been a dream. I can also feel on my cheek where I was slapped in the fight, and my right breast is sore where it was attacked in the fight.’ Belinda said for the recording device.

‘And what did you see when you were in the Time Snatch?’ Sophie asked now.

‘I was suddenly in the room. In this case an apartment which was sparsely furnished. I didn’t know how I got there, but it felt like I belonged there. I was wearing exactly what I am sat here in now. A black bra, a pair of black tights which evidently had a ladder in the right leg’ she smiled at Sophie, ‘and a pair of black high heels. The carpet was a deep blue colour, thick pile, there were two low brown leather sofas along the edge of the room, and sunlight streamed into the room through the partially closed blinds. I was aware of a smell in the room, kind of like incense burning I guess, hard to place.’ Belinda said.

‘And your opponent?’ Sophie asked now.

‘Was there waiting for me in the opposite corner of the room. Just as you had said, she was wearing white go-go boots, with some sort of blue and red body suit I guess you’d describe it as. I think there might have been a number on the front of it, like it was some sort of sports costume. And she was definitely Raquel Welch, just as I’d asked you to do’ she told the blonde scientist.

‘And can you describe what happened next in the room?’ Sophie asked Belinda. ‘I’m interested to know just how accurate the memory that you bring back from the time snatch correlates with the fight as recorded by the machine itself.’ Sophie explained.

‘I can’ Belinda agreed. ‘The first thing to say is that instinctively, I knew what was to happen in that room and so did she. For me it was like the rules of engagement were implanted in my mind somehow, and I think that the same was true of her. There were no words between us, we both knew we had to fight’ She continued, pausing for a moment as if to just make sure her memories wouldn’t betray her. ‘Then we fought. There was no semblance of a feeling out process like you might get in a real life situation when meeting to fight someone. She walked out to the centre of the room and so did I. We both slapped each other in the face hard as soon as we were in range, There was no holding back from either of us. Immediately we grabbed each others hair. She was a little bit taller than me and she used her height advantage to rag my head around a little so I punched her in the body to stop her. She called me a whore, I slapped her face again. She did the same to me, then tried to march me back by the hair to one of the sofas. She was strong. A kind of raw, natural strength about her. I punched her again, which I don’t think she particularly liked and she really tattooed my face with another heavy slap. I guess we’re about thirty to forty seconds in by now’ Belinda said for the recording, noticing that Sophie had a wistful look in her eye now and was playing very absent mindedly with her hair as she listened.

‘Go on’ the blonde scientist just about managed to say, prompting Belinda to continue with her story.

‘Well I kicked her in the thigh, but that put me a bit off balance in my high heels and she used that to drive forward and drop me on to the leather sofa after all where we landed in a bit of a tangle. I scissored her thigh or maybe she scissored mine, either way we had our legs locked together in a mutual thigh scissor while we ripped at each other’s hair and she was pretty much on top of me. I remember groaning in some pain from the thigh scissor. She had very strong legs so it was tough to get out of it, her bare legs giving her good grip around my nylon covered thighs. And she was slowly starting to inch her way up my body there as we each pulled at each other’s hair, not gently, but really trying to rip it out now. It was like the time snatch made us know we needed to fight without restraint’ Belinda suggested. ‘I don’t quite know how to explain it, but right now, the memory feels like that of a real fight, yet one where we knew that whatever we did to the other was merely temporary if that makes sense?’ she asked.

‘It does make perfect sense’ the blonde scientist confirmed. ‘That’s how the time snatch is configured to work. We hoped at least. To give anyone it captures that sense of inhibition to really go for it in the fight. So we must be towards the end of your two minute time snatch now?’ she asked Belinda.

The older woman nodded a little wistfully now. ‘We are, and I must admit I wish I’d asked you to send me for longer now, because things were just about hotting up by this stage! She was shifting to try and get more on top of me but our thighs locked together prevented her from quite making the move perfectly. I released her hair and pulled on the front of her body suit, ripping it open some and I tit slapped her’ Belinda smiled, recalling that moment before going on ‘the noise of that really filled the room as it landed. It felt so real and it lit a real fury in her eyes. She slapped my face again and then she pushed my bra up so that she had unbridled access to my girls now, and she didn’t slap them. Instead she sunk her fingers into my right breast and mauled me like she was born to do it. The feeling of pain was intense, electric….’ Belinda said, her voice trailing off for a moment as she recalled that exact moment, then looked down at her bra suddenly worried that it was out of place.

‘Time shift not time machine remember Belinda’ Sophie smiled seeing that momentary panic in the older woman. ‘You might feel like it really happened to you, but her shifting your bra is only in the time shift. You’re covered up still, don’t worry’

‘Oh yes….I mean it just felt so real that it makes you wonder for a moment’ Belinda explained to the blonde scientist.

‘Well that’s good’ Sophie replied, ‘that’s how it’s supposed to work. It’s just that, well, you’re the first person that’s really been able to confirm it for us Belinda. So what else happened?’ she asked now.

‘Not a lot really’ Belinda picked up. ‘She squeezed that tit like it was hers to take home with her. Then she called me a fucking cheap whore. I tit slapped her again. We ripped at the hair with out other hands. All the time it felt like she was doing her very best to get on top of me, and then the memory ends. I guess that was the end of the two minutes and the time snatch finished’ she said.

‘That sounds right. We don’t really have a neat way of finishing that at the moment if the snatch isn’t long enough for a fight to finish. It probably feels a bit like you just woke up from the dream at that point I would imagine?’ Sophie asked Belinda.

‘Sums it up quite well Sophie’ Belinda agreed. ‘Like you’ve just got to the good bit of the dream and someone woke you up!’

‘And how do you feel now?’ Sophie asked Belinda. ‘It’s probably fifteen minutes since the fight finished now’

‘I have the exact feelings I’d expect to have after a fight. I feel thrilled, I feel sore where she attacked me. I can recall the fight in vivid detail. It feels real to me, I can’t really put it any better than that’ Belinda told Sophie.

‘Excellent. Then I think we can conclude that the time snatch works’ Sophie said and she stopped the recording.

‘It really does, and like I said I’d be happy to invest to help you to finish the work’ Belinda told the blonde scientist.

‘Well that’s great’ Sophie beamed. ‘As you can see, we’re really not all that far off having this finished. The system itself works perfectly well. The enhancements we want to make are more on the feedback side so that we can play back the fights in better quality’ she explained. Then she looked at Belinda who was still sat there quite comfortably, not having put her business suit back on yet. ‘May I ask you a question Belinda?’ she asked.

‘Of course Sophie, we’re business partners now after all!’ Belinda replied.

‘Well….I errr, I wondered. Have you fought for real before? Sophie asked, feeling a little awkward about asking. ‘Because the stats that the machine picked up from you suggested that you had?’

‘The machine is perfectly accurate Sophie if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ve fought over a hundred private catfights in my time. All of them quite competitive. And I still do it now when I get chance’ Belinda told the blonde.

‘Oh wow, so it really did pick up your stats properly then’ Sophie said, a look on her face of relief but also intrigue.

‘So, in the interests of honesty Sophie, can I ask you one question as well?’ Belinda asked.

‘Like you said Belinda, we’re business partners now, so fire away!’ Sophie smiled.

‘Well, I noticed when I was undressing you could barely bring yourself to look at me, but now you seem very comfortable looking at me in the same state of undress, so what changed?’ Belinda enquired gently.

‘Well, I didn’t want to get distracted’ Sophie explained, looking conflicted for a moment before going on ‘I’ve never told anyone this, but the thought of fighting women turns me on Belinda. There, I admit it. I saw your stats on the machine, and well, I knew I had to focus on the time snatch because I couldn’t afford to get all hot and bothered. So I pretended like you weren’t there for a moment.’ she said with a coy look on her face.

‘Yet you noticed me ladder my tights on the zipper of the skirt?’ Belinda probed.

‘Yeah….might have snuck a quick look. Sorry’ Sophie chuckled.

‘So do you….’ Belinda asked, getting the question partly done.

‘Fight women?’ Sophie completed it for her. ‘No, I never have. I’d love to, but I’m neither brave or athletic enough to do it. But I did think I’d use the time snatch for it sometime, when someone else is trained up enough to use it.’ Sophie told Belinda.

‘But you’d take your stats with you’ Belinda pointed out, ‘so how well would it work out if you had no experience at all?’ she asked the blonde.

‘Who said I wanted to win...’ Sophie smirked with a raised eyebrow.

‘Oh no Doctor Shaw….we need to make sure you’re at least equipped to defend yourself a little from these virtual wildcats’ Belinda laughed. ‘We’re business partners now. You can train me on how the machine works…..I can train you a little on how to fight a woman. I’m sure it will work out just fine’ she said. ‘Now I suppose I’d better get dressed!’ she laughed, going in to the pocket of her jacket on the back of the chair for a moment to pull out a gold embossed business card. ‘But this is my number….office on the front for business, private number on the back for more personal matters’ she explained, handing it to Sophie. ‘We can talk business at any time, and I want you to give me a run down on the improvements you’re going to make just as soon as you can please’ she asked as she started to button up her blouse that she had now put back on. ‘And you can call me privately any time you want to know about real fighting Sophie. We can train together’ she said, pulling her skirt up now, taking care not to worsen the ladder in her tights as she did so. ‘I can find you women to fight, or you can watch me fight other women as well and learn a little from that’ she told the blonde who looked a little surprised at this last development. Surprised but excited she realised.

‘I’d like that’ Sophie managed. ‘Thank you’

‘Not at all Sophie. I mean it. If you want to use that thing you need to learn a little of how to fight yourself first. I won’t take no for an answer’ Belinda said shrugging on her jacket. ‘I don’t want my business partner getting virtually beaten up after all’ she smiled. ‘So call me Sophie. Let me know what you need. Let me know when I can help….in both ways’ she said, before she headed for the door, knowing that Sophie’s eyes were watching her as she pulled the umbrella out from between the door handles and walked out into the bustling office space outside the conference room.

‘I will…..’ Sophie whispered to the receding view of Belinda. ‘I will…..’